Thursday, May 21, 2009

A TRULY inspirational mother

You all know that I am VERY passionate about the images we feed our daughters as it relates to standards of beauty and self love. Those of you who have been following me or have most recently read my first entry (and the subsequent entries: "And a child shall lead them" and my "Dr. Miracles outburst) can attest to this.

Well, I had the honor and joy of running across the blog of member, mamaprincess. Her blog, NappySexyFly is THE BIZNESS! And it turns out, she's a mother after my own heart.

read her most recent blog post (below) and click on the link (<= here or above) to her blog so that you may see the beautiful natural mane of her daughter enlarged! I've said it a million times and I'll say it again...We HAVE to do better by our babies. Thank God mamaprincess believes so too! I hope her words (and actions) touch you as well! Now, without further ado..

HER daughter's "Beautiful Naps"
My daughter has a whole lot of nappy hair as you can see. Her hair is below waist length stretched. In the above photo I pulled a section of her loose hair in order to stretch it out so that I could show it's length (my hand is somewhere down there but cannot be seen in the pic), then I took the picture with my other hand. She is 5 years old and of course has never had her hair straightened. She knows she's beautiful because we always tell her that she is sooooooo beautiful. She knows nothing of self loathing. She loves her skin and hair and everything about herself because we adore her and tell her so all the time. We live in a predominantly white community so she interacts with them on the regular but has no issues. She attracts love and kindness like a magnet because this is what she experiences all the time in her home. This is her foundation. It's all in how you treat your children. It's all in the messages you send them. A child should not feel insecure, ugly or unwanted. Our job as parents is to make sure they know they are perfect and precious. Their lives even when we are not around will reflect the love we planted in their souls.

As for her hair, their is no way on earth her hair would ever be as healthy or achieve this length with a relaxer. I have older twin daughter's who's hair was as long as this. Their father begged me for years to relax it because he couldn't do it on their visits so I gave in eventually and let him take them to have it done. I knew what would happen but he didn't believe me when I told him. Their hair was super long and healthy to start then it began to break off. It eventually broke off to chin length in a year's time even though they had their hair done professionally and kept it up. Needless to say, they are both transitioning now and never want to see another relaxer as long as they live. Now when I send them to their father for visits, their hair is in braids. They know how healthy their hair was prior to the relaxer and how badly it damaged their hair. Relaxers hold no mystique for them. They will not be begging me to perm it for prom. Nappy hair is fragile not strong and chemicals break it down to the point that it is even more fragile and prone to breakage.

My youngest daughter (pictured above) is by my husband. We both agreed no chemical would ever touch her hair. Her hair got this long by treating it the way nappy hair needs to be treated. Very little manipulation. I put her braids in and don't take them down for weeks at a time. I wash her hair in the braids. When its time to redo, I take it one braid at a time making sure to moisturize and oil to prevent breakage. I separate and smooth with my fingers and very gently comb the ends with a wide tooth comb and re-braid. She usually has anywhere from 8 to 12 braids. It takes about 2 hours to do her hair because I don't yank and snatch through it like it needs to be punished. The keys to healthy naps are moisture, low manipulation and a gentle patient touch. That's pretty much it. Her hair is also never blow dried, in fact no heat is used on her hair.

For all those who use hair typing, we are both 4b in other words nappy. Her father is a pure blooded Ghanaian (Ghana, West Africa, blackest Africa, home of the purest naps and deepest melanin endowed gorgeous dark skin where the majority of us can trace our roots because it is from there that the majority of our ancestors departed) :) I am an African-American with no recent interruption of my African bloodline, in other words not mixed. Yes, true African naps can achieve length if so desired if you honor God's blessing by nurturing and loving them and caring enough to learn about how to take care of them instead of trying to murder them with toxic chemicals.

As long as I am in charge, my daughter will never feel the burn of chemicals or the heat of a straightening tool. She will always know and not question the power and truth of her own God given beauty just as she knows it at the impressionable age of 5.

Thank you
NappySexyFly, for allowing me to publish your entry here and for being the true inspiration that you are!! *hugs*



  1. Thank you for stopping by TreJah! Thoughtful, mindful, loving mothers move me to tears as well.