Saturday, April 25, 2009

Food for thought...

First my apologies for not checking in here regularly, it's been a stressful week, but I'm going to try to do better.

This morning as I was catching up on my reading and trying to get my thoughts focused to update Natural Sunshine I ran across something of interest to me.

Over on BHM today, one of my member friends (MizzBrit) started
a thread about these ignorant a$$ (IMO) Dr. Miracle's relaxer commercials. You know the ones, they bash hair in any state other than relaxed. Don't misunderstand me, I'm NOT anti-relaxer, but I AM anti-"anything that attempts to threaten my daughter's self-esteem!" Believe that!

These are the two commercials I referenced in the discussion above, but not the two that started the discussion at BHM.


I posted my response there (
feel free to click the link above and read the full discussion), but I wanted to share it here as well, in hopes that it would be food for thought for those that come across my blog.

I stopped watching BET when my daughter was born (over 10 years ago), even on Sunday, but she most recently learned of the Gospel shows (mainly Sunday Best) on there (and being the lover of Gospel music that she is) asked if she could watch. Dr. Miracle has a new set of commercials (with a husband and wife) that I do in fact find offensive. Well, I don't know if offensive is the word...but angry certainly is.

I clicked on the links you provided and watched the first few seconds and had to stop. They grate my LAST nerve. Angry I didn't know if I was just overly sensitive, but I can't stand these newest ones I see on Sundays, I hate what they are saying to young girls, more so than grown women.

I'd be fine with them if they were presented as a styling option,but to say how awful these women's hair is (and they don't even look bad!) and that they NEED a relaxer....Angry The husband is calling her hair a bird's nest, then (I think) he says , "no a squirrel's nest." It just goes on and on. I'm VERY much bothered that they have to degrade natural hair in order to promote the use of a relaxer.

When I think about the millions of young girls watching that channel and digesting that message, it makes me nauseous. I CRINGED when that first commercial came on as my daughter sat there watching. She turned to me and just waited for a response, for some confirmation that this was wrong...and you can best believe she got it! Her little eyes looked as if they were saying, "Them, too? That's how my family was talking about my hair last summer, Mommy." We had a long talk about marketing ploys and how they play on the insecurities and misinformation taught to black women about their hair and about the images society puts out there. It was a productive talk and I could tell that she felt better as a result of it. We had already had a version of this talk when her "incident" happened last year and I decided to transition, but that commercial seemed like a slap in the face to her and I could see it in her eyes.

But what about the little girls that digest that and don't have anyone to talk to them?

My baby girl loves her hair and all the ignorant Dr. Miracle's commercials that they play will not change that. She said, "I don't want a relaxer ever mommy." I smiled and told her honestly, "I want you to always love your hair and know that it's beautiful just the way it is, but if you get older and want different styling options I'll be ok with that. But I don't ever want you to think or believe that having a relaxer is the ONLY option you have to obtain "pretty" hair because you already have pretty hair and I think you understand that." She vehemently replied, "I'm NEVER getting one!" Well, we'll see, I thought to myself But I was honest in my response. I'd prefer that she not, but if she does I don't want it to be because she feels what God gave her is ugly and I think I'm building a solid foundation in her that will continue to combat that type of thinking. God knows I'm trying.

My challenge to everyone: Be mindful of what we are allowing "society" to tell our children about their beauty.



  1. Love this post and I feel your pain! BET is MIA in my house too! You are doing a wonderful job with your precious child and she will be so much better off because you are instilling in her self love and you are protecting her mind. You know I'm with you.